Mollyletter

﻿A Public Letter to My Friend Kaitlyn Dear Kaitlyn,  I’ve decided that it is finally time, time that I speak my mind. I cannot hold my tongue a minute longer. You’re online relationship with Ayden needs to stop right now. I have kept my opinion on the matter to myself long enough and I need for you to know how I feel. When you first told me about Ayden I was excited for you. You had finally met someone who made you happy, and I was happy for you. Until I found out that you had never actually met him. That he lived in England, 7,000 miles away from us, and that you had only communicated with him through Instant Messaging and e-mails. I am sorry, but this is not what a relationship is supposed to be. I’m not saying that all relationships that start out online are bad. I will be the first to tell you that this simply is not so. My cousin, Audrey, met her husband, Courtney, on eHarmony.com and he could not be more perfect for her. However, their relationship is completely different than your and Ayden’s. They initially met online and then began to actually date, whereas your and Ayden’s relationship was completely online. There are always situations that require you to date online, but that doesn’t mean that you should only date online. Sure that is sometimes easier, but chatting with someone online is no way to build the foundation of a relationship. You need to be able to see this person and spend time with them. You need to do things together, go out on dates in order to get to know each other the proper way. I read an article the other day that gave tips on how to maintain a healthy online dating relationship. One thing that was mentioned in the article that I agreed was essential is the use of programs that enable you to talk with the other person, like Skype. This allows you to have an actual conversation. There are too many aspects that are involved in a healthy dating relationship that cannot be if you are not seeing and spending time with that person on a regular basis. One of the most important parts of any relationship is trust. This is something that must be earned. It is built up until finally it is achieved. You cannot completely gain someone’s trust unless you spend time with them and allow them to grow to trust you by example. If you are in a relationship where you never actually see the other person, only message them, then you will never be able to fully trust or be trusted by that other person. There are also so many things in life that you will miss out on if you save yourself for this one particular person. No, I am not advocating cheating, that is not what I am saying at all. Cheating is a terrible thing, and you should never participate in it. However, if you do not go to parties and events with your friends because it’s something normally done with a date or because you’re afraid guys will see a single girl and get the wrong idea, then you could miss out on something major. What’s to say that you won’t meet your soul mate or maybe someone who could help you advance in your career? If you don’t go simply because you’re saving yourself for the guy you’ve never met you never know what you could be missing out on. Besides, who’s to say that the person you are committed to and saving yourself for is doing the same thing. All you have on the matter is his word, and that goes back to the whole thing about trust, you cannot fully trust anyone that you don’t really know. For all you know they could be lying and just leading you on. Yes, in a normal relationship where you actually go on dates, people can lie as well, but it is not the same. Typing a lie on your computer and sending it to someone is completely different than lying straight to someone’s face. There is also the aspect of getting caught. You are much more likely to get caught in the lie if you see the other person on a regular basis. When you lie to someone, there is always the chance that they can see it on your face. Even if they cannot right away if you are lying, they or one of their friends might see you doing something that you shouldn’t be doing. Think about it Kaitlyn, how many times did Ayden lie to you? He started lying to you almost from the start, with the fake picture. I mean think about it, if he lied about that what else could he have lied about? Not to hurt your feelings or anything, but what’s to say whether or not any of it was real on his side. He could easily have just been stringing you along, while dating another girl that he saw on a regular basis. Since you never saw him or knew anyone that saw him on a regular basis, you have absolutely no way of knowing how faithful he was to you. So please do me a huge favor and end this scam of relationship that you have going for him. There are not enough benefits to over shine the negative aspects to make a relationship that is strictly online a healthy thing; especially for someone your age. You need to go out and experience with people who you can actually see and hang out with, someone who can take you out. Someone who will show you a good time and will enjoy doing many of the same things that you do. It’s your life, and only you know what is best for you. But please listen to what I have said. I’m your friend, and I just want what’s best for you. I may not know what that is because I certainly am not you, but I know that this online relationship you have going with Ayden is not what is best for you. I don’t want to cause you any pain, but even if breaking up with Ayden now will hurt you; in the long run you will realize that it was for the best. Your friend, Molly