Memoir+Rough+Draft

__SLAMMER TIME__ Most days were just like any other day in the great city of Valparaiso Indiana but not this day; this day was very different. On a normal day I would wake up with a combination of the summer son beating on my face and the sound of my alarm echoing through my ears. I would wake up around noon or so, go downstairs, make myself some breakfast, and watch T.V. or play video games until it was time for me to go into work. I worked as a waiter at TGI Friday’s and I worked every day pretty much during the summer. The day was June 26th and it started out like every other day the only difference was the heat that I woke up in, I woke up in a pool of my own sweat, as it was the hottest day of the year. I started my daily morning routine like I would on any other day but as I was sitting there eating my brown sugar cinnamon pop-tarts, I received a call from my manager at work, asking if I wanted the day off and of course being a lazy teenager I accepted. With the whole day ahead of me and nothing to do, because I sure wasn’t going to go out into the smoldering heat, I called my friends and asked if they wanted to come over and by some weird coincidence they all had the day off so they decided to come over. A few hours passed and my friends started showing up but the thing I didn’t know is that they were all bringing alcohol, which I had no complaints against. As the day went on and turned into night more people started showing up, and we found ourselves becoming more and more intoxicated and losing control of how many people were showing up. The heat in the house was excruciating with the air conditioner not working, and bodies pressed together and no room to move. We kept fighting on and drinking and having a good time but as the night went on everybody was getting drunk and the party started to migrate outside and drunk people usually aren’t the quietest people. It was around 2 a.m. and I was in the middle of a really intense game of beer pong and all of a sudden the people that were outside run inside and yell “COPS!” With all the windows being opened we all just took a look at the window, and saw flashlights shining into the house directed right at our jaw dropped faces. The only thing that we thought to do was close all the blinds and doors and turn off the lights, like the cops would forget that we were in the house. Everybody started hiding in everything and everyplace you can think of, we had somebody cram their body into one of our cabinets, and my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to jump into the shower fully dressed, with the assumption that the cops won’t bug us since we are showering. The cops moved to the front of our house and started to pound on the door and make us well aware of whom they were. Finally, after about twenty minutes of them knocking on our door, our friend CJ who was the most drunk out of all of us, opened the door and let the police in. As the cops searched the downstairs they didn’t see anybody, only the game of beer pong that we were unable to finish.The cops and CJ proceeded upstairs and of course the first door on the right was the bathroom so one of the cops opened the bathroom door chuckled, and told us to get out of the shower.As they continued to check the other rooms CJ said “they kept shining their flashlights at the ceiling like we were somehow hiding on the ceiling.”They ended up finding nine of us hidden under beds, behind chairs, acting like we were sleeping on couches, and my favorite pretending like we were showering. The police moved us all outside and told us to sit on the lawn and they would be just a minute.They had us start blowing into the Breathalyzer to get our BAC and they were not too pleased to find out we were all well above the legal limit. Officer Hall came up to us and said “this will only be a slap on the wrist there is no need to worry,” and as we all sighed a sigh of relief he pulls his radio out and says, “ we are going to need another escort.” The officers approach all of us and start handcuffing and as th e cold metal grasps my wrists, and as I am sitting on the lawn, shirtless and still soaking wet from my fake shower, trying not to laugh, I couldn’t help but think that my mom is going to kill me. The other squad car pulled up a few minutes later, so they started throwing the nine of us into the back ofthe squad cars and started escorting us to Porter County Jail. The drive to the jail was not all bad as I was in the car CJ and my friend Josh. We were laughing and I was trying to bribe the cop with T.G.I. Fridays. The officer couldn’t help but to laugh, but unfortunately turned down my bribe for one free meal on me. As we arrived, the officers took us out of the car and brought us to where we had to get booked in. The booking officers were not very happy with our arrival as we were laughing at everything and being very loud. As we were getting our mug shots taken I continued to try and bribe the officers with Fridays but this officer did not find it the least bit amusing. They finally put us in our cells after a very awkward shower with my friends and us passing the economy size soap that we had to use. You would think the cops would learn not to put us together, but I guess not because that’s exactly what they did as they put us in the same cells together. As I walked into our cell I saw that we had bunk beds, yelled “dibs on top bunk,” and jumped into my bed and passed out. The next day was a little different than the night before. With the lights shining down on me and my scratchy blanket wrapped around my body that had holes and stains all over i t, I managed to roll out of my bunk just in time for breakfast. As I sat there with my head throbbing, and trying to eat my stale cereal and warm milk, all I can think of is who is going to come get me. By the time the phone finally made it to our cell it was time for lunch, which wasn’t much better than the breakfast, I called my mom praying that she would pick up and come get me. After 4 attempts I tried once more and she finally answered and agreed to come and get me. Finally, after waiting 3 hours they came and let me out of my cell, and I was a free man. As we walked down to get my belongings back the officer told me that I had to wear a shirt since I got booked with no shirt on. So he hands me a 3XL black shirt that was all sorts of disgusting, I would’ve rather waked out with the blanket that I slept with. As I walked out to my mom in the waiting area, that same thought that she was going to kill me came into my head, and even though she probably wanted too, she gave me a big hug and called me an idiot. As we got back to my house my roommate, who also got arrested, said “go look upstairs.” As I made my way upstairs, anxious what could be up there I turned the corner and saw insulation on the floor and looked up and saw that we had an attic, six months living there and never noticed it. Not realizing it until that moment, that that’s where the other people from the party hid out. I think I learned a very valuable lesson and that is always look, for your hiding places, especially if they have an attic.

The best part I thought was when the cops were searching through the house. I did wonder where your mom was during the party. You never explain how you are able to have a party like this at home. I was unsure about the significance of the story, since you don't describe any sort of realization at the end. If it is meant mostly as an amusing story, you could try to play up the humor in the story. --msh