Adding+Detail

Andy Dillard’s Telling vs. showing.

Line 12

He chased Mikey and me around the house and up a backyard path that we knew pretty well. We ran through a gap in some bushes that lead to another backyard. We ran between houses and up an alley. The man was still chasing us, so we ran up another street and ventured through other yards toward a hill top. He chased us for blocks around fences, bushes, and between houses. I thought he would be done chasing us, but he kept coming.

Bulk up: He was bored in class.

He was unable to focus in class. He often found himself gazing at the lighting or counting the tiles. He was constantly flipping open his phone, hoping for a new text message. Minutes felt like hours. The hand on the clock was moving in slow-motion, as he tried to plan out his life after class. Every word his teacher said sounded the same; it was like the Charlie Brown cartoons, “Blah blah blah.” He knew the information was important, but he was too busy trying to keep himself entertained to make it through class.

One sentence: Minutes felt like hours, every word his teacher said sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher, Blah blah blah.