Minkyung+Jung

=**Minkyung's portfolio**= = =

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** Multigenre 1st draft **
My name is Minkyung it means bright stone in Korea. I'm from South Korea. This is my first semester in Ball State University and also this is my first experience to study in America so it is quite exiting and everything is new to me. My major is English Education and the reason why I chose to study abroad is that I want to become a good English teacher in Korea. Now I live in Mysch hall. I really want to get some good experience here in Ball State!

Minkyung Jung is very particular about what she writes. She enjoyed writing in elementary school. When she was seven, she started writing daily diary entries about her day and certain emotions she felt. Minkyung sometimes still writes; however, she no longer writes in diaries. She prefers writing blogs. She does not always like writing about topics that her teachers assign. She wants to be able to choose topics that appeal to her. Minkyung also likes to write about quotes. There are many quotes which Minkyung likes, and she writes about her thoughts and feelings on those quotes.

Alyson Goldner

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= =My zero draft=

The First and The Last Robbery  Every child is cute and lovely. Whenever I see children’s eyes I always feel like becoming pure person like those children. These pure, clean and endearing children run and jump in the playground freely, smile when they are happy, and appreciate to every small thing like lollipop, warm blanket, and gentle breeze which softly ruffles their hair. Children are clean and pure. They love everything sincerely and don’t lie. So it is quite difficult to believe that children also do some bad things. Although we find out children do something bad we just don’t care. Because we think that they behaved like that because they didn’t recognize what the result can be happen. So whenever some bad things happen because of children we believe that children didn’t do those bad things on purpose.  But sometimes children also do some bad things while they know that thing is bad. When I was 7 years old, I was a pure, kind little girl as other normal children. I love pretty dolls, running outside with my friends, playing mothers and fathers, and my parents. I always relied on my parents, so the impact of my parents was really great to me. I always want to be an adult like my parents. I don’t know exactly that this is the reason why I really love to do playing mothers and fathers but I really loved that play. And I always played a role as a kind and warm mom who has a pretty and adorable baby. The girl who always played a role as my baby was a daughter of my mother’s friend. Her name is Songmin and she was 3 years old. Although she is now 17 years old and as she grew up she became fat, wore eyeglasses, and had her hair cut as short as boy, so nowadays she is a little bit look like as a boy, but she was really adorable when she was 3 years old. She had dark-brown eyes, silky brown wavy long hair, and her soft baby skin was as white as snow. She was quite different with other common Korean baby. She had western features. Those days I really like to play with dolls which has western feature. Actually all Korean dolls for girls have western feature. As women in all over the world are, Korean women also want to have an appearance like Barbie doll. And the girl, Songmin, was a Barbie doll to me. At that time I thought that she was the second beautiful girl in the world, next to my mother. I really liked her. She was my big Barbie doll. Whenever I met her, I became her professional stylist, hair designer, and make-up artist. I really loved to meet her.  It was the day when the spring just came. Still the wind was quite chilly and all the people wore heavy and warm winter clothes. But I could feel the spring through warm sunshine and by smelling fresh spring. It was the weather which I most like. I was in a really good mood because that day my mom and I were planning to visit Songmin’s house. I was so excited to think about playing with her joyfully. Holding hands with my mother I went up to her house with jump. The house was on the third floor but I ran up stairs at a dash. I played with Songmin happily, we did playing mothers and fathers, actually mothers and babies, did playing hair salon, and played with dolls. On that day, Songmin had a new doll. It was really pretty. The doll had a shiny silky blond long hair and wore a beautiful pink dress. I thought that I had never seen a doll as beautiful as it was. I really wanted to have that doll. While I was playing with dolls with Songmin, my eyes and thoughts were fixed to that beautiful doll. So I asked to Songmin if it is okay to give that doll to me for a day. But she rejected my request firmly. She said “No, it is mine and it is new.” It was the first moment I didn’t love her. I hated her at that moment. But that emotion wasn’t go long. I know that the doll was not mine and I loved her very much. So as we played together soon I loved her again. After played a long time, Songmin fell asleep. I was boring so I started to play with Songmin’s beautiful new doll. The doll was really pretty, and the more I played with the doll, the more I wanted to have that doll. But I knew that the doll is not mine and Songmin really loved that doll. I tried to give up that doll. But my 7 years old patience was not quite good. So I decided to get that doll. But I knew that taking other person’s belongings without permission is a bad thing. And I knew that it is called robbery. I didn’t want to be a robber. But I want to have the doll. But if I took the doll just in hands my mother and mother’s friend would find it and blame on me for steal the doll. It was quite confusing for 7 years old girl. I knew if I give up the doll everything would be okay. But I couldn’t. So I think about the way which I can take the doll to my house without being caught my mother. After thinking about quite a long time, I found the way! The black plastic bag was it! I thought that if I put the doll in a black plastic bag, everyone can’t see that I’m taking the doll to my house. But getting a black plastic bag was another big problem. I didn’t know well about that house and also I didn’t know where the black plastic bag is. I had to ask to my mother’s friend about where the black plastic bag is. But I was worried about if they doubt me. But there was no way except asking the location of black plastic bag. So I decided to be brave. I went to the living room where my mom and her friend talking and asked her.  “Where is a black plastic bag?”  It was short moment until she replied to me. But I was really nervous. And felt like the whole world stopped.  “Why do you find black plastic bag, baby?”  I was so confused. I didn’t think about situation when they ask me a reason. So I just said  “I just want to put something in.”  I was so worried about how could I do if they ask me what something is. But fortunately they didn’t ask me about that. So I got black plastic bag and put lovely doll in it. I couldn’t wait until my mom asks me to go home, because I worried about the situation when Songmin wake up and find her beautiful doll. So I pestered my mother to go home early. My mother might think that I am quite different before. Because whenever I went to Songmin’s house I didn’t want to go back to my home.  When I back to my home I put out my lovely doll. It was mine. But I didn’t feel happy. It was not funny to play with doll alone. But I couldn’t play with other people with that doll. Because I afraid about the situation people find out that the doll is not mine. I was so sad. From that time I was so worried that if mother find out that I stole the doll from Songmin’s house. So I cut the doll’s silky long hair to make it not look like Songmin’s doll. But after I cut the doll’s hair it was not as beautiful as before. I didn’t want to play with that doll anymore. And I was so scary about the situation that I become a robber. I thought that I was a bad girl. Anyone won’t forgive me and Santa Clause won’t give me present on Christmas day. I was so sad. So I finally cried out. My mother found out that I was crying and asked me the reason. Although I was afraid to being punished, I said all things honestly. Because I can’t stand that big burden in mind alone. But my mother didn’t punished or scolded me at all. She just hugged me warmly and said that everything is okay. And we went to the department store to buy a same doll like Songmin’s doll. Because I couldn’t give back the doll which had a short hair. I and my mother bought same doll and visited Songmin’s house. Fortunately she didn’t wake up yet. We left the new doll on the same position and came back to our house. When we came back to home my mother called me and made me sit down in front of her. I was frightened to being punished by my mother. But she didn’t blame on me. And just said “I am so happy that you know the truth you did bad thing. I believe that you recognized how bad thing it is to deceive someone and steal someone’s belonging. And how hard it is to pay the fiddler after doing bad things”

=**First Draft**=

Minkyung Jung English 103 Section Fall 2010 Matthew Hartman The First and The Last Robbery Every child is cute and lovely. Whenever I see children’s eyes I always feel like becoming pure person like those children. These pure, clean and endearing children run and jump in the playground freely, smile when they are happy, and appreciate to every small thing like a lollipop, a warm blanket, and a gentle breeze which softly ruffles their hair. Children are clean and pure. They love everything sincerely and don’t lie. So it is quite difficult to believe that children also do some bad things. Although we find out children do something bad we just don’t care. Because we think that they behaved like that because they didn’t recognize what the result can be. So whenever some bad things happen because of children we believe that children didn’t do those bad things on purpose. But sometimes children also do some bad things while they know that thing is bad. When I was 7 years old, I was a pure, kind little girl as other normal children. I love pretty dolls, running outside with my friends, playing mothers and fathers, and my parents. I always relied on my parents, so the impact of my parents was really great to me. I always want to be an adult like my parents. I don’t know exactly that this is the reason why I really love to do playing mothers and fathers but I really loved that play. And I always played a role as a kind and warm mom who has a pretty and adorable baby. The girl who always played a role as my baby was a daughter of my mother’s friend. Her name is Songmin and she was 3 years old. Although she is now 17 year-old and as she grew up she became fat, wore eyeglasses, and had her hair cut as short as boy, so nowadays she is a little bit look like a boy. But she was really adorable when she was 3 year old. She had dark-brown eyes, silky brown wavy long hair, and her soft baby skin was as white as snow . She was quite different with other common Korean baby. She had western features. Those days I really liked to play with dolls which has western feature. Actually all Korean dolls for girls have western feature. As women in all over the world are, Korean women also want to have an appearance like Barbie doll. And the girl, Songmin, was a Barbie doll to me.  At that time I thought that she was the second beautiful girl in the world, next to my mother. I really liked her. She was my big Barbie doll. Whenever I met her, I became her professional stylist, hair designer, and make-up artist. I really loved to spend time with her. It was the day when the spring just came. Still the wind was quite chilly and all the people wore heavy and warm winter clothes. But I could feel the spring through warm sunshine and by smelling fresh spring. It was the weather which I most like. I was in a really good mood because that day my mom and I were planning to visit Songmin’s house. I was so excited to think about playing with her joyfully. Holding hands with my mother I skipped up to her house. The house was on the third floor but I ran up stairs at a dash. I played with Songmin happily, we did playing mothers and fathers, actually mothers and babies, did playing hair salon, and played with dolls. On that day, Songmin had a new doll. It was really pretty. The doll had a shiny silky blond long hair and wore a beautiful pink dress. I thought that I had never seen a doll as beautiful as it was. I really wanted to have that doll. While I was playing with dolls with Songmin, my eyes and thoughts were fixed to that beautiful doll. So I asked to Songmin if it is okay to give that doll to me for a day. But she rejected my request firmly. She said “No, it is mine and it is new.” It was the first moment I didn’t love her. I hated her at that moment.  But it didn’t last long. I know that the doll was not mine and I loved her very much. So as we played together soon I loved her again. After we played a long time, Songmin fell asleep. I was bored so I started to play with Songmin’s beautiful new doll. The doll was really pretty, and the more I played with the doll, the more I wanted to have that doll. But I knew that the doll is not mine and Songmin really loved that doll. I tried to give up that doll, but my 7 year-old patience was not quite good. So I decided to get that doll. But I knew that taking other person’s belongings without permission is a bad thing. And I knew that it is called robbery. But I want to have the doll. However, if I took the doll just in hands my mother and mother’s friend would find it and blame me for steal the doll. It was quite confusing for 7 year-old girl. I knew if I gave up the doll everything would be okay. But I couldn’t. So I think about the way which I can take the doll to my house without being caught by my mother. After thinking about it for a long time, I found the way! The trash bag was it! I thought that if I put the doll in a trash bag, everyone can’t see that I’m taking the doll to my house. But getting a trash bag was another big problem. I didn’t know well about that house and also I didn’t know where the trash bag is. I had to ask to my mother’s friend about where trash bag is. But I was worried about if they doubt me. But there was no way except asking the location of trash bag. So I decided to be brave. I went to the living room where my mom and her friend talking and asked her. “Where is a trash bag?” It was short moment until she replied to me. But I was really nervous. And felt like the whole world stopped. “Why do you need trash bag, baby?” I was so confused. I didn’t think about situation when they ask me a reason. So I just said “I just want to put something in it.” <span style="display: block; font-family: Malgun Gothic; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: left; text-indent: 9.75pt;">I was so worried about how could I do if they ask me what something is. But fortunately they didn’t ask me about that. So I got a trash bag and put the lovely doll in it. I couldn’t wait until my mom asks me to go home, because I worried about the situation when Songmin would wake up and find her beautiful doll. So I pestered my mother to go home early. My mother might think that I was quite different before, because whenever I went to Songmin’s house I didn’t want to go back to my home. When I got back to my home I took out my lovely doll. It was mine. But I didn’t feel happy. It was not fun to play with doll alone. But I couldn’t play with other people with that doll. Because I was afraid about the situation people would find out that the doll is not mine. I was so sad. From that time I was so worried that if mother would find out that I stole the doll from Songmin’s house. So I cut the doll’s silky long hair to make it not look like Songmin’s doll. But after I cut the doll’s hair it was not as beautiful as before. I didn’t want to play with that doll anymore. And I was so scared about the situation that I became a robber. I thought that I was a bad girl. Anyone won’t forgive me and Santa Clause won’t give me present on Christmas day. I was so sad. So I finally cried out <span style="display: block; line-height: 200%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 9.75pt;">. My mother found out that I was crying and asked me the reason. Although I was afraid to be punished, I said all things honestly, because I couldn’t stand that big burden in mind alone. But my mother didn’t punish or scold me at all. She just hugged me warmly and said that everything is okay. And we went to the department store to buy a same doll like Songmin’s doll. Because I couldn’t give back the doll which had a short hair. I and my mother bought same doll and visited Songmin’s house. Fortunately she didn’t wake up yet. We left the new doll on the same position and came back to our house. When we came back to home my mother called me and made me sit down in front of her. I was frightened to be punished by my mother. But she didn’t blame me. And just said “I am so happy that you know the truth you did bad thing. I believe that you recognized how bad thing it is to deceive someone and steal someone’s belonging. And how hard it is to pay the fiddler after doing bad things” And she hugged me as warmly as spring sunshine <span style="display: block; font-family: Malgun Gothic; line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0cm; text-align: left;">. I cried again. I couldn’t say anything. Because of the truth that I stole someone’s thing. From that time I found the truth that taking something without any effort can lead to a bad result. I made the text red to indicate places I thought the writing was most vivid. Changing the color messed up your paragraphs, so don't think that I was trying to change the way you used paragraphs. You do a great job of capturing the feelings and thoughts of yourself as a seven-year-old girl. I could relate to your feelings of jealousy and guilt. And I could appreciate your ingenuity as a robber. I'm surprised your mom didn't wonder why you were bringing a trash bag home with you. I also like the way you set up the story in the introduction. It helps set up suspense and suggests the significance of the story. I think at this point you can focus on editing grammar. --msh  Process  Letter Public letter - First draft Research paper draft Multigenre Multigenre 1st draft