An+Open+Letter+to+My+Father

=An Open Letter to My Father=

//__Open Letter__//
I miss you. I miss going to watch you play basketball. I miss watching you play PlayStation games after work. I miss the omelets you used to make me on Sunday mornings. I miss our races to the car, our talks after my soccer games, and our long conversations about why life is the way it is. Most importantly Dad, I miss seeing you sober.

When my sister passed away, you and Mom started going out more to keep her death off of your minds. I remember I would hide in my room when I thought you two were coming back, because you two would always start a drunken fight. The fighting got so bad that you two could no longer handle it, and you filed for divorce. After you moved out, I stopped sharing those mentioned memories with you.

It has truly been quite awhile since I have seen you sober, Dad. In your defense, I understand that alcohol is an easy way for you to cope with hard times. But in all honesty I think ten years is long enough to cope – at least without needing to use alcohol. After you bought your house, the problem has gotten out of control. My brothers and I stopped seeing you for a month because you replaced your relationships with us for your friends at the bar.

Now that your friends have stopped showing up you have started drinking heavier, and you develop into an extremely bitter and aggressive drunk. The person that you become when you drink is someone that I often want very little to do with. It seem as if when you are drinking you always manage to start fights with your closest friends and family. It has gotten to a point where I can always expect to wake up to the sound of you screaming at your wife, Heather, during visitations. My biggest concern is, I sincerely haven’t seen you sober in over a year; so this simply is the person you are to me now. I have reached my limit, Dad, and I believe that something //has// to change. I think you should know that your problem is affecting more than just me. The last time our family came down for the Fourth of July, Uncle Gerrad talked to me about how disappointed he has been. He said it kills him that you never made anything more of yourself, because you were full of personality and potential; which was thrown away after you started drinking. Uncle Kevin told me about the several occasions that he avoided seeing you when he visited, because he felt that you were too aggressive to handle in public. Your cousin Dennis has been the most supportive for me. Every time your alcohol addiction has gotten to me in some way, he has always been there to talk to me. It is apparent to me that everyone knows the problem, but no one can reason with you when you are always drunk. It truly hurts me to know how much it is affecting your side of the family. My biggest hope is that it would hurt you more.

I am writing to you because I have a large favor to ask of you. I want you to stop this pattern that you have created. I do not want for friends and family to have any reason to be ashamed or worried about your lifestyle. I want you to realize what drinking is causing everyone. Recently visitations with you involve me being cooped up in my room every night to avoid fighting with you. I hate to say it, but it is becoming apparent that you and Heather will not have a much longer marriage if the two of you continue having these drunken arguments. If you cannot find it in yourself to stop for those reasons, think about the image you are placing in my brothers. Kaemon and Kyan are still in elementary school, and they are still learning and evaluating people’s lifestyles. You are the male figure in their lives, and it is crucial for you to set the example for them. If you cannot stop living the way you do, my brothers – your sons - will end up like you have. They still have the rest of their lives ahead of them, and they need to know what it means to be an adult in this world.

My intentions in this letter were to be blunt with you. I know that we have had our arguments before, but you have never listened to me. This letter is my way of venting my thoughts to you in a to-the-point manner. Something has to change. More importantly, I hope you understand that something //can// change. Since you have been drinking, you taught me a lot about the kind of person I never want to be. When you were sober, however, you taught me the more important lesson of the man I //should// grow in to. When you were sober everyone loved you, and you loved everyone. I miss more than anything seeing how happy you were all the time – and not because you were wasted. You taught me how to treat people, and that is the greatest lesson I’ve ever learned.

I hope you understand that your family loves you no matter what. We are always going to love the person you are. However, please understand that your addiction complicates the family. Every time you purchase alcohol you are making a decision – in most cases a //sober// decision. I ask that you make a different choice. Next time you want to spend money for alcohol, instead treat my brothers to some ice cream. After you finish eating, race them to the car. When you get back to the house, play video games with them. Then when they go to bed, have talks about why life is the way it is. Give my brothers positive memories like the ones I had with you. Always remember that your family will be here to support and help you.

With Love – Your son, Keegan Jiles

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