Public-Letter

Arrianna Sawyer Professor Hartman Open Letter October 11, 2010 Future and Present Roommates Dear future and present roommates: It’s an exciting experience to come college and share a room with a random person, or someone you “already know”. Ever since I was little I could not wait till I got to share a room with somebody I did not know or share with my friend. I wanted to do everything with my roommate. I wanted to have girls night together in our room. I wanted to go to dinner together. Share secrets together. Have inside jokes we made up. Eventually we would have become best friends to each other. Or even feel like sisters to one another. But as for me that was not the case. I am a freshman so it could happen my sophomore through senior year. My first roommate I had we did not get along. My second roommate we had started having problems. In both situations I did not cause us to have any problems. The first roommate she wanted guys to stay the night. I was opposing to having the opposite sex stay the night. I even tried to compromise with her. I told her I that they could stay on Friday and Saturday night and I would stay at my family house. I did not want to be there at all, if a guy was to stay the night. That is something I do not believe in. The first roommate did not want to compromise with my decision. So she started to be disrespectful towards me. And she had to move out. My second roommate, we got along very well in the beginning. She was having roommate problems too. So the Hall Director thought we would be a good match together. The Hall Director told us to me each other. Also she wanted us to see what we thought about each other. We had already met each other before. So we decided to be roommates. We talked about almost everything in that short time when she moved in. We really got along with each other. We stayed up talking really late at night. Even though we got along, there were things that got on my nerves about her. And I am pretty sure that there are things that get on her nerves about me. Then one day she stopped talking to me. I am not even sure what caused her to stop talking to me. Since then on, that started the tension in the room. Future and present roommates to ensure you have a good year with your roommate, I have developed some guidelines. They will surely help the both of you guys and not harm you. Future roommates you should get to know each other. Play a game like twenty-one questions, so you can know a little bit about each other. Even present roommates can still do the game. Know each other likes and dislikes. Both my first and second roommate we should have gotten to know each other when we first met right away. So we do not make prejudgments about one another. Living with another person you have to be open minded about the living situations. Authorize how you and your roommate are going handle each other things. Should you share the refrigerator and microwave? Should you share cleaning supplies? It is always best to ask your roommate can you use his/her things. Never assume they are going to be fine with it. If you use something up, is it your responsibility to buy more? I did not appreciate my roommate using my wipes without asking. She decided to use all of them up. Having a roommate you have to take everything in consideration. Handling sleeping arrangements can be tough and easy. Who gets to sleep next to the window or door? Have an open when arranging the room around. If your roommate is loud while you’re sleeping ask her can she either be quieter or to do it some other time. My second roommate is loud just for no apparent reason. So at times you have to tell them they are too loud. Some roommates are not considerate of other people’s feelings. Next you should establish the roommate contract. The roommate lets you learn about the person you’re living with. When you do the contract voice your opinion, later on you do not want to have any regrets. Because you did not speak up for yourself. My first roommate we voiced our opinions about how we feel towards the contract. We noticed that we were not going to get along. Then figure out how you are going to handle confrontations. Confrontations are not always fun and easy to handle. Living in tension is not healthy. It brings on unwanted stress. And that can take an effect on your school work. I hated going into my dorm with tension in the room. Any little thing could set one of us off to start a confrontation. There are some good ways to handle them. You can decide if you want to write what is bothering you to your roommate. Schedule a time to talk about the situation. So you will not have to feel rushed and get everything out in the open. When you tell your roommate what is going on use “I feel….” statements. Write down what you want to say to your roommate, so that you will not forget what you are going to say. Even have rules on how you want to handle the confrontations. Once a confrontation cannot be resolved between the two roommates that is when the RA has to be involved. So she can mediate the situation. When things are not going good between you and your roommate, do not post rude comments about each other on Facebook. My first roommate did that and that led her to being kicked out. It is always good not hold in built up tension that is in the room. You cannot forget to plan things to do together. When you plan things you get to know each other. Go to the mall together. Tell funny family stories. Go to breakfast, lunch, or dinner every once in a while. My second roommate, we went to dinner together. We had a pretty good time eating together. Take pictures together. Go to Wal-Mart and buy more things for your dorm, that is your style and her style together. Decorate your dorm room door together. Play dress up together. Have a study time set aside for the both of you. Join a club that interesting for the both of you. That will bring you closer together, when you have someone you know in the same club. Remember to introduce your roommate to your family. My first and second roommate I introduced to my family. Your family wants to know who are living with. Another thing surprise your roommate with an unexpected gift. Sincerely, Arrianna Sawyer