With all my free time, I’ve found it very easy to maintain good grades so far.

High School Accumulative: GPA 2.67
Current College GPA: 3.81


“Mock” High School Report Card:
Current College Grades:
Math C+
Spanish B-
English B-
Business elective A
History B+
Engineering class B+
Science B
English 103 A
Chemistry A
Psychology A
Finance A-
History B+
Dance History A



Letters to the Bros

Dear McBro,
College is sick. I can finally say I am living up to the Keegbro title. The past three weeks I have been spitting some game. I can actually say this now, because it has actually been rewarded. I cannot WAIT to tell you about it; you’d be so proud! Dude, I heard about your start at IU . . . are you shitting me!?!?!? I can’t even describe how brumped I am!!! Congratufuckinglations BRO!!!!!! Ha. IU was so sick man! I’m coming down again soon for sure. That was so nuts! (see IU under Party). Like I said, I’m finally on a roll dude so I’m stoked about going again. There were some babes for sure! Ha. As soon as your season is over man, I’ll be seeing you here at Ball State. It shall be Mattapalooza 3.0 in Muncie!
Well that’s all I got . . . later, fag.
Keegbro 10.15.10


LOOOOOUUUUIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,
Operation incoming flood has been a success of indescribable proportions! I can say with total confidence that Da Phunk has made Red Rocket and the rest of Team Rocket proud. Dude. How’s college man!? I cannot wait to get back in Columbus and hang, bro. It is weird not going to EVERY “social outing” with you. Ha, we went EVERYWHERE together over the summer! How are the ladies? Is Brian still creeping you out at DePauw? Ha! I’m sure I will end up skyping you here soon, but I am bored to shits, so I figured I’d flatter you with a letter. I mean, who the hell writes these now days?
Later man,
Keegbroooooooooo 10.14.10


Axel,
Que honda huey!? Jaja como te gusta columus sin los bros!? Necesitas visitarme ahora! No tengo un clase de espanol y sere un maestro de espanol! Teines que llegar y hablar en espanol conmigo! Vas a querer a vistarme por todo del ano! El futbol aqui es loco! Tres horas todos los dias! Es pinche nuts! Jaja. Like I said, I haven’t been in Spanish for a while, so I hope that made sense haha. Come visit me puto!
Adios, Cara de Caca,
Pinche Poop Face 10.1.10


Gaymo,
Dude. I cannot wait to see you if you are ever not attached to Caroline over break. You will be proud of me, academically speaking, ha.
That’s all I have. See ya fag,
Me 11.5.10

What I wore in high school
What I though I’d wear in college
What I actually wear in college



Spring
Spring
Spring
Jeans
Nice cargo shorts
Cargo shorts
T-shirts
Polo’s
T-shirts
Matching shoes
Sperry’s
Loafers



Fall
Fall
Fall
Jeans
Nice jeans
Jeans/sweats
Jacket and t-shirt
Dress shirts
Hoodie
Matching shoes
Sperry’s
Loafers



The following is a mini-memoir. This is a sample of my party experience while visiting Matt McKain at IU.

Just Like the Movies
Looking across the room I saw a countless number of beautiful girls. It was unreal to me, something I had never seen before - a truly heavenly ratio for a party. For every guy I saw at the party, there were three gorgeous college girls. Finding a dance partner was no challenge here. The only trick was selecting which one to dance with. I looked around the room and glanced behind the bar with a ledge full of people dancing. As I watched them all having fun, I began to find myself spacing out and thinking about the whole experience.
This was truly the perfect party – just like in the movies. My favorite song was playing as I made my way towards the elevated dance floor in the middle of the room. The whole world seemed to be in a constant vibration as the bass shook the house. Before climbing onto the stage I took another look around the dance floor. All around the room there was a brilliant radiant glow. The black lights alone illuminated the entire room, and created a cosmic-like effect. Past the bar I saw, yet, another ledge where more people were dancing. I began to size up the entire room and realized the fraternity “house” was more like a mansion.
I finally jumped onto the elevated floor where I saw Matt dancing. I didn’t know anyone at the party, but realistically, no one knew the difference. If you were to ask anybody there, they would have told you I was likely just another IU student partying at the frat’s. I felt like a rookie amongst professionals. I began to think that students at IU wouldn’t know any different than these types of parties. I figured it was time I began to learn the same. I eventually approached the most attractive girl I saw within reach, and could not help but think, “Now this is what all parties should be like!”


My Life as a High School Athlete
Soccer
Freshman, sophomore years
JV
Unnoticed
Junior year
JV
Unfair?
Senior year
Varsity
Hard work
Commitment
Dedication
Starting lineup
Most of the time . . .
Unfair?
Season goal:
Beat Memorial
Accomplished?
I think so!
State Finals:
Dream
Come
True
Diving
Joined late
(Halfway through season)
As a Sophomore
Intentions:
Talk to girl
Skill:
Limited
Junior Year
First full season -
First season caring
Goal:
Sectional finals
Skill: noticeable
Achieved:
. . . Regionals!?!?!?
Senior Year
Greatly anticipated
Goal:
State?
Hard work
Commitment
Dedication
Skill:
Surprising to me
Achieved:
Regionals
:/
Track
Never joined
. . . ‘Til senior year
Reason for joining:
Why not?
Event:
Hurdles
At first:
Embarrassment,
But had
Potential
Hard work
Commitment
Dedication
Fastest hurdler
(For our school)
Regrets:
Why not
Sooner?


A.D.D.

Symptoms may include:
Inability to keep focus on anything – ever, trouble holding a conversation, irresponsible tendencies and/or lack of caring for/about things

Medication may help:
Straighten user’s ass up academically, keeping user super focused on tasks, implementing high levels of motivation, making user unusually responsible and organized

How it works:
Medications for A.D.D. are actually very similar to cocaine in terms of mechanics. Both drugs have the same effect on the human brain. They both work by means of filling the synapses with dopamine to regulate concentration.

Side effects may include:
Staying up forever, spending too much time being a perfectionist, loss of appetite (leads to weight loss), and, essentially, a minor cocaine addiction (no big deal).



Just a thought:
High school sucked. Seriously. I went to school for seven and a half hours EVERY DAY! . . . Now I only go to class for sixteen hours in a full week. For those that never liked math: Two days of high school classes is almost equal to a whole WEEK of college classes!

Just a thought:
I must say I miss the bonds with some of my teachers at school. I can truly say that I am friends with some of them. College professors so far have been very good at getting to know me personally, but nothing beats the four years I shared with some of my teachers in high school.

Just a thought:
I have turned on the TV one time since I have been at college . . . and that was simply to watch the first football game of the NFL season. “High school-me” thrived off of the TV, especially the xbox. Now, however, I can play guitar. My free time now sometimes consists of teaching myself how to play new songs. I must say - guitar seems to be more attractive to the ladies than the xbox ever did.

Just a thought:
I literally never studied in high school. Like, there are those that say, “Oh, I never did homework in high school,” . . . but I seriously, never, did homework in high school. I would only do it in-between classes or in my resource (study hall).

Just a thought:
I never cared or even knew about my grades until midterms in high school. I would always find out that I had a few D’s or F’s in my classes. It was always like some sort of game to see if I could get my grade back up by the end of the nine weeks period. I don’t think my teachers appreciated grading piles of my late assignments over their Thanksgiving Break.



Little to Compare

High school parties contain the same friends that you see everyday, and always consist of whatever alcohol people could steal from their parents. For those of us who got someone to actually buy the alcohol, it was always some brand name alcohol. Did I mention the party location? - Unless you had the friend(s) who: had parents out of town, had parents that were super awesome, or had a huge open field, your parties were nonexistent.
. . . What a joke.
In college, there are always new people to meet. The campus is full of people that are near your age to buy any drinks needed. The question in college is not, “Which alcohol do I want?” The real question is, “Do they have anything cheaper than Skol?” So now, all we need to know is where do we go to party? Answer: Walk down any street near campus. You can (speaking from experience [multiple experiences]) walk into almost any house that has music playing and get into the party.


Rules
1. Thirsty Thursday’s are a must
2. Forget what you knew about your favorite alcohol. His name is Skol. learn to love him.
3. Do NOT constantly make jokes in class. You WILL make an ass of yourself.
4. Large paper – Time + (3)Red Bull = All Nighter
5. Prepare to hate your life during winter.
6. Forget what you knew about courtesy amongst bikers. Apparently they have the right away to any freaking spot on the sidewalk they choose (the spot RIGHT in front of you)
7. Learn how to dougie (I still need someone to teach me how to dougie)
8. See that hot girl over there? She’s probably taken
9. See that other girl? She’s definitely a slut
10. Think that last girl is a keeper? She’s not into you
11. Learn the “other girl’s” name


The “friend zone” is when a girl places you in a category of people she could never date. You may not be “undatable,” but she “just doesn’t see you like that.” The friend zone is something you do not get out of. Ever. Once you are there, you are stuck. Anytime a girl says, “I’m glad we’re friends,” or, “We’re best friends,” it is game over. (see definition #2 of Friend Zone)
*The friend zone is essentially a one-way platonic friendship.


The following is a (the) verse I wrote for a song. The song is written to the instrumentals of KiD CuDi's - Soundtrack to My Life. This song is a song I wrote towards the beginning of my senior year in high school about where I felt I stood in terms of popularity.

I felt had like I was pretty popular in school - in the sense that most people knew, or at least, heard of me at my high school. I really made a point to make sure I was well liked by most students at my school, or in Columbus in general. My biggest problem was that I felt like I was missing out. I was not really a part of any cliques, so I never tried to belong to one group of people. For instance, the whole football clique knew who I was, and I would talk to them at parties and such, but I never really felt like they got to know me too well as a person.
Not all of this song is about me. In fact, I can’t say I directly relate to most of it. This song is just about a feeling/situation I feel many can relate to. You are no super star, but the people that really get to know you may not know the difference.




I love college analysis


That party last night
Was awfully crazy
I wish we taped it

I danced my ass off
And had this one girl
Completely naked

Drink my beer
And smoke my weed
But my good friends
Is all I need

Pass out at 3,
Wake up at 10,
Go out to eat,
Then do it again

Man, I love college


I Love College by Asher Roth was sincerely what I believed many college experiences would be like. Since I have been at college, I have noticed many similarities, and many differences as well.
Let us take a deeper look into the alleged college experience.

That party last night
Was awfully crazy
I wish we taped it

I cannot count the number of times I wished my night had been recorded. So far, so true.

I danced my ass off
And had this one girl
Completely naked

Ok, ok. I did dance my ass off. I would not want to kiss and tell, but that second part may not be far from the truth.

Drink my beer
And smoke my weed
But my good friends
Is all I need

Well, I actually hate beer, and I don’t smoke. Not to mention, I need a lot more than my good friends, like some attractive females for starters.

Pass out at 3,
Wake up at 10,
Go out to eat,
Then do it again

Man, I love college


I have never passed out, but when I do go to sleep, it is not until like four. He clearly only used “ten” so he could rhyme with “again.” I personally sleep-in until four, so nice try, Roth. A little fun fact: Asher Roth never actually went to college. Clear evidence of that is when he says, “Go out to eat.” No, it is college, you don’t have money to go eat and do it again.

Overall, I give this college description a C-. He has many good points, but it is just terribly unrealistic. He should also incorporate in his song somewhere, the part about taking care of your roommate because he can’t handle his alcohol. Not everything about college is fun Mr. Roth.

Monday:
7:00 a.m. - press snooze button
7:15 a.m. - get ready for school (see fashion in life style)
7:30 a.m. - leave for school
7:45 a.m. - spanish 5
8:30 a.m. - resource (study hall [walk around school])
9:15 a.m. - health
11:00 a.m. - economy
11:45 a.m. - lunch
1:00 p.m. - hoosier hysteria (a class where we play basketball)
1:45 p.m. - ap statistics
2:30 p.m. - english honors
3:15 p.m. - school ends
3:30 p.m. - sports practice starts
5:30 p.m. - sports practice ends
6:00 p.m. - arrive home and lay around doing nothing productive
7:30 p.m. - xbox
10:00 p.m. - eat
10:30 p.m. - xbox
12:00 a.m. - sleep
Tuesday:
7:00 a.m. - press snooze button
7:15 a.m. - get ready for school (see fashion in life style)
7:30 a.m. - leave for school
7:45 a.m. - spanish 5
8:30 a.m. - resource (study hall [walk around school])
9:15 a.m. - health
Keegan JilesI love how much shorter my "school days" are in college. 8 hours of school to 4 on the average day.
September 15 at 10:58am · Like · Comment
11:00 a.m. - economy
11:45 a.m. - lunch
1:00 p.m. - hoosier hysteria (a class where we play basketball)
1:45 p.m. - ap statistics
2:30 p.m. - english honors
3:15 p.m. - school ends
3:30 p.m. - sports practice starts
5:30 p.m. - sports practice ends
6:00 p.m. - arrive home and lay around doing nothing productive
7:30 p.m. - xbox
10:00 p.m. - eat
10:30 p.m. - xbox
12:00 a.m. - sleep
Wednesday:
7:00 a.m. - press snooze button
7:15 a.m. - get ready for school (see fashion in life style)
7:30 a.m. - leave for school
7:45 a.m. - spanish 5
8:30 a.m. - resource (study hall [walk around school])
9:15 a.m. - health
11:00 a.m. - economy
11:45 a.m. - lunch
1:00 p.m. - hoosier hysteria (a class where we play basketball)
1:45 p.m. - ap statistics
2:30 p.m. - english honors
3:15 p.m. - school ends
3:30 p.m. - sports practice starts
5:30 p.m. - sports practice ends
6:00 p.m. - arrive home and lay around doing nothing productive
7:30 p.m. - xbox
10:00 p.m. - eat
10:30 p.m. - xbox
12:00 a.m. - sleep
Thursday:
7:00 a.m. - press snooze button
7:15 a.m. - get ready for school (see fashion in life style)
7:30 a.m. - leave for school
7:45 a.m. - spanish 5
8:30 a.m. - resource (study hall [walk around school])
9:15 a.m. - health
11:00 a.m. - economy
11:45 a.m. - lunch
1:00 p.m. - hoosier hysteria (a class where we play basketball)
1:45 p.m. - ap statistics
2:30 p.m. - english honors
3:15 p.m. - school ends
3:30 p.m. - sports practice starts
5:30 p.m. - sports practice ends
6:00 p.m. - arrive home and lay around doing nothing productive
7:30 p.m. - xbox
10:00 p.m. - eat
10:30 p.m. - xbox
12:00 a.m. - sleep
Friday:
7:00 a.m. - press snooze button
7:15 a.m. - get ready for school (see fashion in life style)
7:30 a.m. - leave for school
7:45 a.m. - spanish 5
8:30 a.m. - resource (study hall [walk around school])
9:15 a.m. - health
11:00 a.m. - economy
11:45 a.m. - lunch
1:00 p.m. - hoosier hysteria (a class where we play basketball)
1:45 p.m. - ap statistics
2:30 p.m. - english honors
3:15 p.m. - school ends
3:30 p.m. - sports practice starts
5:30 p.m. - sports practice ends
6:00 p.m. - arrive home and lay around doing nothing productive
7:30 p.m. - xbox
10:00 p.m. - eat
10:30 p.m. - xbox
12:00 a.m. – sleep


I literally never studied in high school. Like, there are those that say, “Oh, I never did homework in high school,” . . . but I seriously, never, did homework in high school. I would only do it in-between classes or in my resource (study hall). ‘


I have turned on the TV one time since I have been at college . . . and that was simply to watch the first football game of the NFL season. “High school-me” thrived off of the TV, especially the xbox. Now, however, I can play guitar. My free time now sometimes consists of teaching myself how to play new songs. I must say - guitar seems to be more attractive to the ladies than the xbox ever did.

She said, Boy you kinda cool
And you should take me out
But like them New Boyz,
She ain’t goin’ tie me down

But still I take her
And bring my friends along
Cuz when you’re kinda cool
You don’t do dates alone

Like Batman’s enemy
Call me two faced,
‘Cuz see I’ll talk some trash,
But just not two your face.

‘Cuz when you you’re kinda cool
You’re just not cool enough.
That’s why I wear tight shirts –
To act like I’m tough.

The other day man
I was starting for the b-ball team,
But then I woke up;
It was all a dream.

‘Cuz when you’re kinda cool,
You don’t play basketball,
But you could show the b-ball captain
Up in ping-pong

Got the freshest shoes,
And I can’t get enough.
But when I think about,
Man they’re all scuffed.

99 girls
Take ‘em all home.
But only hanging out,
Get that friend zone.



Things I miss from high school:

1) My Bros. I had many good friends, but the one group of people I was around consistently was the Bros. Matt McKain, Loie Souza, and Corbin Oliver. We did everything together over the summer.
2) Popularity. I may not have been on prom court, but I made it a point to know everyone at my high school. By the end of my senior year I feel confident in saying that everyone at least knew of me. I miss walking down the hallways with a friend asking me how I knew all the people that would wave at me
3) Sports. I miss high school sports immensely. I miss playing soccer competitively for my school. I miss being able to flip through the air during diving season. I also miss the adrenaline of waiting to sprint from the blocks and race over hurdles for 110 meters.
4) Classrooms. I can not explain how awesome it was to tell my English teacher, Mrs. Sanders, that I was going to, “bang your daughter.” I miss being able to blurt out the most smart-alick answers in class. I also miss being able to get away with playing hide-and-seek in class.
5) Not caring. I miss sitting



Things I miss:
Bros
Popularity/being well known
Sports
Not caring in class
Not needing to do homework
Never studying
“BS’ing” assignments
being a smart-alick
walking in on classes that I was not supposed to be in
being actual friends with teachers
options for lunch (off-campus lunch)
not walking outdoors for class

Things I don’t miss:
paying for lunch
crowded hallways
much longer school day
friend zone
asking my mom for everything
same people everywhere = no escaping drama
lack of things to do



High school was a time
When nothing seemed to matter
I remember loitering in the halls
Passing classrooms in search of friends

College is a time
Where I lay a path for my career
I know my decisions
Will affect me for years to come

High school was a time
When my friends were
Forever
How could I lose them?

College is a time
Where my friends are
Eternal
I know I will not lose them

High school was a time
When building strong friendships
Amongst 2,000 students
Was a goal

College is a time
Where establishing connections
Amongst 20,000 students
Is a must

High school was a time
When I enjoyed life
A time when I prepared
For college

College is a time
Where I love life
A time where I prepare
For the world